


Because She Didn't End It All

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, F/M, Phil comes back, Philinda - Freeform, Sad, happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 09:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16238429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I'm experimenting with a new writing style, Phil dies in Avengers Assemble and May tries to cope on her own and doesn't do very well, but then Nick Fury calls to turn her life back around.





	Because She Didn't End It All

Philip Coulson died five weeks ago today.  
Five weeks ago he was stabbed through the heart with Loki’s scepter.  
Five weeks ago he died saving the world from an alien invasion.  
Five weeks ago he died protecting the Avengers so that they could protect the world.  
Five weeks ago he told Melinda May that he had something important to tell her.  
Five weeks ago he tried to call her. Just in case.  
Five weeks ago she didn’t pick up the phone.  
And that is the biggest regret of her life.

Thirty-four days ago Nick Fury told Melinda May that he had something important to tell her.  
Thirty-four days ago he called her.  
Thirty-four days ago she answered the phone.  
Thirty-four days ago she fell apart.  
Thirty-four days ago her world collapsed around her.  
As she crumbled in the eye of the storm.

Twenty-seven days ago she attended his funeral.  
Twenty-seven days ago she dared to listen to the voicemail he had left her.  
Twenty-seven days ago she fell apart even more.  
Twenty-seven days ago he wasn’t there to pick her up again.  
And he never would be again.

Two weeks ago she stopped crying.  
Two weeks ago she went numb.  
Two weeks ago she stopped seeing visitors.  
Two weeks ago she stopped talking to her friends.  
Two weeks ago she visited his grave.  
Two weeks ago the nightmares started.  
But being awake is worse.

Yesterday she barely moved.  
Yesterday she listened to his voicemail on a loop.  
Yesterday she couldn’t stop thinking about what he wanted to tell her.  
Yesterday she couldn’t stop thinking about how he loved her.  
Yesterday she couldn’t stop thinking about how she never told him that she loves him back.  
Yesterday she couldn’t stop thinking about how they never took their chance.  
Yesterday she couldn’t stop thinking about they wasted time.  
Yesterday she couldn’t stop thinking about how much she loves him.  
Yesterday she couldn’t stop thinking about how she will never be whole without him.  
She can’t stop thinking about him.

Today she doesn’t get out of bed.  
Today she doesn’t answer the phone when it rings.  
Today she doesn’t answer the door when it’s knocked.  
Today she is numb.  
Today she repeats yesterday.  
Today she re-lives all of the moments he spent with her.  
Today she remembers all of his smiles.  
Today she doesn’t think she can make it.  
Today she wants to end it.  
But she won’t.

Because…

Tomorrow she will jump out of bed.  
Tomorrow she will answer the phone.  
Tomorrow she will be stitched back together.  
Tomorrow her world will right itself.  
Tomorrow she will cry from happiness.  
Tomorrow she will tell him how she feels.  
Tomorrow she will tell him that she loves him and always has and always will.  
Tomorrow she will finally fall asleep happy.

In five days time, she will see his smile once again.  
In five days time, her own smile will shine as brightly as the stars.  
In five days time, she will begin to heal in his arms.  
In five days time, they will find true happiness in each other.  
In five days time, they will find safety in each other’s arms.  
In five days time, they will fall asleep holding each other.  
Knowing they will never let go.

In a years time, they will be happy together.  
In a years time, he will take her to her favourite restaurant.  
In a years time, he will get down on one knee.  
In a years time, she will say yes.  
Because how could she ever say no?

In a year and a half, she will wear a white dress and a smile so bright it dims the sun  
In a year and a half, his heart will overflow with love as she walks down the aisle.  
In a year and a half, her father will give her away.  
In a year and a half, Nick Fury will hold the rings.  
In a year and a half, Maria Hill will hold the bouquet.  
In a year and a half, they will swear to love each other “until death do us part and even then”  
In a year and a half, they will be a family.

Because she didn’t end it a year and a half beforehand.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, any advice or constructive criticism would be appreciated!  
> Have a great day! Xx


End file.
